Dear Sapphire Welka,

I miss you; or the idea of you before you were consistently lied to, threatened and bullied by your biological mother Stephanie Jean Rice, and as complimented by other persons in your family and circle of friends of whom she permits, per your nonrebellious, nonquestioning compliance, for you to affiliate and interact with.

I miss you because you were kind-hearted, genuinely honest, sincere, sweet, beautiful, lovely, wonderful, caring, understanding, and many other things towards me, and reassuringly so, until your communications, affiliation and involvement with me abruptly disappeared as if you no longer existed or were not real, or that I was delusional to consider that I had interacted with you. I trust myself and cognitively know that I had affiliated and interacted with you and vice versa.

Despite the cruel disruption instantiated by your biological mother, you did express yourself, perhaps to share with me your own genuine concerns and essentially have a voice, which I perceived as being similar to my own, as acknowledgingly represented by this journal you had written and shared with me--the first entry beginning approximately one month after your biological mother had significantly disrupted and reprimanded you from having any affiliation, contact or involvement with me.

July 6, 2014 - My mom heard some bad things that Jason did. All this drama started with my mom accusing Jason of intentionally compromising my computer, to his face. He wrote an extreme amount of complaints on my facebook timeline about my mom's treatment of him, consisting of the aforementioned accusation, the threat my mom made that she will call the cops if Jason kept pushing me how he had the night of the accusation, and my mom saying that a gift Jason had gotten for my mom and Steve wasn't wireless like she wanted, when it IS wireless. It is about a couple months after my mom accused Jason of intentionally compromising my computer. She still thinks he intentionally compromised my computer, but I do not think he did. She also thinks that he told me to download TightVNC so he could spy on me. I asked him about that and he reminded me that he told me to put it on there so he could help me with something. When he told me that, I did remember him telling me to put something on my computer so he could help me with SOMETHING, but neither of us remembered

what it was that he wanted to help me with, with TightVNC. My mom said that Jason said that if she can't fix my computer, she can give it to him. She says he thinks she's so stupid because of him saying she can give it to him if she can't fix it, and because he downloaded / told me to download A LOT of stuff. When I mentioned to Jason that stuff my mom said, he said that by give the laptop to him, he meant sell. I told my mom this, and she said that what he did to my laptop is a small part of her problem with him and the big problem is his personality and his attitude. Right after my mom accused him of intentionally compromising my laptop, my mom asked Jason if he's so smart, why doesn't he have a job with computers and said that some people actually need SSI. Jason had been on SSI for a year because of his sensations. He feels like microbes are nibbling on him and sometimes feels like they're injecting into him. They make it hard for him to get a good sleep because they wake him up. When Jason did work involving Bitcoin, he was not able to accomplish much because his sensations distracted him. Jason got up after my mom and Jason were arguing for a while and said he doesn't have to deal with this then he got up and went to leave the house. I got up after a few seconds, went towards him, and pulled him towards me. My mom said she's reporting fraud to the SSA. After I pulled Jason, he grabbed my wrists and pushed me. I pushed back a little. When he pushed me closer to where my mom was and she saw him pushing me, my mom told Jason that if he touches me like that again, she will call the police. Then, Jason went upstairs to get his bag. Then he stopped at the bathroom. I blocked the doorway and he asked me to let him go. I asked "Once a month?" and unblocked the doorway. He asked "What?" Then, I asked the question more clearly, "Can we at least see each other once a month?" He asked me to talk to him outside. I was going to do that, but my mom shut the door on me after Jason got out, but before I could get out. My mom said that Jason's a leech and that he will wait until he is starving to death to get a job. My mom told me that if I ever live with Jason, I would be paying all the rent. Jason paid his share of the rent before his ex-roommates, Raymond and Eric, broke the lease. Eric even owes him around $800 from the rent he didn't pay when he lived there. Jason and Raymond had a disagreement over whether Jason owes Raymond rent money or Raymond owes Jason rent money. Eric just left a few months before the lease ended and Raymond left the day after that, slamming things around and

cussing Jason out. Jason told me he is appreciative that most of the time Raymond lived there, Raymond had treated him fairly. It is concerning that a second person that I know of tells Jason he doesn't owe him what Jason claims he owes him, but it is not that bad; only $29. But what Colleen claims that Jason is lying about her owing him is much worse. Jason claims that a girl he had a crush on, Colleen, has many animes and clothes that she took from Jason. Jason told Colleen that he wants his things back, but Colleen told him she has never had anything that had ever belonged to him. Jason said that friends of his called Colleen a bitch, and he was quick to defend her, but now, he's not so sure. It is also concerning that Jason's parents think that Jason is less trustworthy than his half-brother, but Jason thinks his half-brother is untrustworthy. It is also concerning that Colleen said that Jason slanders and harrasses her because she doesn't return sexual feelings for Jason, on a blog that Jason made saying that Colleen is deceptive and doesn't value him at all. Colleen said in a reply that she used to care for him before he kept harrassing her. I'm not sure exactly what happened between them, and I'd like to know. He blew up both Colleen's phone and her mom's phone. I know that. I know Jason was too obsessed with Colleen for her not returning the feelings. I am not allowed to talk to Jason anymore. He has been blowing up my mom's phone very often since April, even though she told him to stop texting her. Same with Raymond and Eric, but for different reasons. It also bothers me that my mom said that Jason blamed Raymond and Eric for stealing his monitor, publicly, even though he did not know it was them. She said that he fabricated that his monitor got stolen, but a couple days later, when I asked if he really fabricated that his monitor was stolen, she said she didn't know, but she said Raymond has a good job and wouldn't risk getting arrested for one monitor. After my mom stopped letting me contact Jason, I saw that Jason blogged that deception hadn't occurred with me, whereas it had with Colleen. I also read a blog he wrote that said that he will no longer be

sad because of the things I wrote to him, that he says are false accusations. But recently, he deleted those blogs and blogged this: "Dear Sapphire Welka, a.k.a, Seafire Whaleco, a.k.a, Hououina, You are a beautiful human existence, [picture of him, me, my mom, and Steve at Church Brewworks] Thank you dearestly and kindly for sharing many beautiful moments with me! Be well! [the word "well" is a link to pictures of wells! So fucking cute :)!] [also, sofucking smart] Love, Jason" His facebook profile picture is also of the picture I drew of his dream where he was getting attacked by a toy sword.

July 12, 2014
I went on the internet this morning, looked at the "conversation" I had this past winter with Kathryn and Jason, and saw something super cute ^_^ I saw that Jason had changed his profile picture of my drawing of his dream where he was getting attacked by a toy sword, so that the toy sword and I were no longer in it, but a non-drawing, his bike, was being ridden by my drawing of him, and it looks so funny, because both of his feet are on the pedals, but his eyes are closed and his butt is on the very very back of the bicycle seat and his eyes are closed, his eyelashes very thick, and the best part is that he's upright and has his arms extended, and his arms are way above the bike handles. It's cute ^_^! I read in the book "Fact: Fact. Bullsh*t!" a few days ago that cockroaches regenerate limbs. That makes me think of how Jason told me that he once tore off all of a cockroaches legs. I wonder if he knew that they regenerate legs. When I told Jason that it was mean to do that, he asked me if it is mean

to pick flowers. When I think about it, it is mean to pick flowers. In school, teachers tell us that plants are alive. That means that they probably feel things. When people pick flowers, they die and wither away. Although, I remember Jason telling me that lobsters don't feel pain when people boil them alive, because they have no central nervous system. The song "Clams Have Feelings Too, Actually They Don't" reminds me of that conversation I had with Jason, too. It is by NOFX. I wonder if I showed that song to Jason. I hope I did. I wanted to. I am not allowed to contact him, though :( My mom said if he contacts me, he will go to jail and if I contact him, I will go to jail because of the PFA she has against him seeing me. I don't know what PFA stands for, but I know its when one person has to stay a certain distance from some one. I remember Ducky telling me that trees feel pain. One day when I was younger, before I met Ducky, my first thought of the morning was what would it feel like to be a plant? When Jason put all that stuff on my Facebook timeline about the evolution of my mom's treatment of him, some people responded by telling my mom to get me away from that creep, some people responded by asking if my mom would like them to kick that guy's ass. It is strange that no one gives a shit that my mom accused him of intentionally compromising my computer. Although, I appreciate that my biological dad said he thought maybe my mom was paranoid because of those accusations. Aunt Lorraine said that if he really loved me he wouldn't be posting ugly stuff about my family on the internet. He didn't post nearly as much good stuff about my mom as he did bad stuff. But I'm glad he at least wrote that my mom has many good qualities, but a few bad qualities overshadow the good ones. My

aunt has said before that most people point out bad things more than they do good ones. Perhaps it is because bad things bother people more than good things do, and that is why bad things are more notable. After my mom saw the hundred of things Jason posted to my timeline, including the comments he made on his own posts, my mom stopped allowing me to contact him, and she also read many of our messages to each other. Jason sent me an email to me saying "Will you at least let me know that you never want to see me again?" after I stopped contacting him per my mom's orders and my aunt's. That really hurts, because I want to see him again, but I don't want either of us to go to jail :( I can't wait to get my own apartment, if that even ever happens. Chandrika says that she doesn't think that my mom is ever right about anything she says about anyone. If its true that he blamed Raymond for stealing his monitor, then I don't want to see him anymore. But from what I read of what he wrote, I don't fucking know :( My mom was nice to Jason for a year and a half, then suddenly became a bitch to him. I hope my mom gets falsely accused of a bunch of shit she didn't do. Chandrika told me that when she was younger, my mom accused her of looking up porn on my computer when she was looking up t-shirts or something. She said my mom always accuses people of doing bad things with no evidence whatsoever. I agree. And she brought up the time that she accused Bala of physically abusing our cats. Before my mom saw all the stuff Jason posted on my timeline, a lot of people told my mom to tell me to block Jason from my facebook. My mom told me to maybe just block him from posting on my wall at first, but after she saw all the stuff he posted to my timeline, she told me

to block him from seeing my timeline, changed my phone number, and told me to never contact him again. Jason does have a bad habit of publicizing personal problems. I also believe that Jason says bad things without any evidence sometimes, like I think he said that GMOs are less healthy than alcohol. I don't know about that. I doubt it, highly. If it was, then a lot of people would probably have noticed severe organ damage in the mid 1990s when they were perfectly healthy before that time that GMOs were widely distributed. In response to Jason's behavior, my stepdad said "In some cultures, they would have shot him," referencing how Jason often says "In some cultures, ..." My mom said that there's a difference between haha crazy and bad crazy and that Jason is bad crazy. It was quite discomforting when Jason said he wanted to go to Bloom's and I asked him what would be there and he said he didn't know, different stuff, when really he knew that it would be all different kinds of cigars. Ir, it might have been my mom who asked what is at Bloom's.

July 13, 2014
I really do not believe that Jason intentionally compromised my laptop. I think he may have unintentionally compromised it, but I certainly do not think that he is malicious enough to intentionally compromise it. Once, when Jason and I were arguing about something, he told me that he is sorry for burdening me with all the gifts. I did not understand what he meant by this at the time. But a while later, when I thought he was telling me he no longer wishes to affiliate with me, I understood why he apologized for burdening me with gifts. I am very sad that I'm now no longer allowed to see him, and when I see the gifts he got me, it reminds me of the fact that I am no longer allowed to see him. But, I will try to enjoy the gifts instead of letting them depress me. I hope Jason is ok. Last summer, my mom said that I have become less happy after

hanging out with Jason so much. Perhaps I was. I don't know if he was the cause of it. I hadn't noticed myself becoming less happy. When my mom told Jason that he is making my health and mood deteriorate, he blocked me on Facebook and unfriended everyone in Pittsburgh, although forgetting Ducky and Meghan. I got ahold of him on Hexchat and told him I didn't want to stop affiliating with him, though. So, we continued affiliating. My mom also told Jason that my grades and hygiene were getting worse because of him. That is not even completely true. While my grades did get worse, it is partially because my classes were way harder this past semester than previous semesters' classes were. And it was my choice to pay attention to Jason and to send so many messages and read his hundreds of messages that he would often send in one day. Jason did not hold me down and threaten to never let me go unless I read his messages. I did not pay as much attention to my classes as I should have, though. And I'm pretty sure that my physical health did not get any worse since affiliating with Jason. Jason and I are both responsible for our own behaviors. Jason should not be blamed for my bad grades because he did not ignore my frequent messages to him and did not tell me to get off of Facebook when I had been on for many hours with him. And Jason did help me with Java, but I don't know if I would have done better learning from the book instead of from him. I did read the book but maybe not as much as I should have. And Jason did help me with some of the logic. I'm thinking that maybe if I told my mom in April 2013 about Jason sending me about 200 messages before I went on Facebook per day, my mom may have told me to stop contacting him then, too. My mom said with how many messages he sends to me, her, Steve, Raymond, Eric, Colleen, Colleen's mom, etc. he is just trying to get at people. I think its wrong that Raymond and Eric just left Jason with those rental fees for the house that are too expensive for him to pay by himself. My mom agrees with Raymond that the lease is invalid.

She said they left because they cannot stand him. I can see why Raymond can't, since he thinks Jason owes him money when Jason thinks the opposite. It seemed like Eric didn't mind Jason too much before he broke the lease early, though. I know Jason has some social problems, though. I know this because he told me that he looked through papers of a club to find out a girl's email address, then e-mailed her telling her she has an amazingly beautiful smile, when he never even spoke to her before then. He told me that the girl told the advisor of the club that Jason makes her feel uncomfortable. Jason said it would have been better for the girl to tell Jason that he makes her uncomfortable. I told Jason that of course she feels uncomfortable with him doing that and that it would have been a lot less creepy if he would have told her in person or asked for her e-mail address first. He said he told her she has an amazingly beautiful smile in that manner because he feels more comfortable communicating in writing than in person. I remember when I told him to accept John MClure's friend request, John sent him some messages and Jason said he does not appreciate the culture of John McClure that he is dealing with. After meeting him in person, Jason liked John, though. I only told him to accept it because I agreed with John that he should put a Condescending Wonka on his wall saying "You like Linux, huh?" I didn't know John was going to message him, too. Jason said he didn't like that John told him to trust him. Jason is quite strange with trust. Once, I told him that Veronica told me that "rena" means queen in Spanish and that people call girls that as a compliment in some Spanish speaking countries. Then, he asked me if I believe that just because some one told me that. I told him yes and I might have gave the credibility to her that she has family in Bolivia who she goes to see every year. Then, he asked me if he told me that the word for water in Farsi is ob,

would I believe him. His dad is from Iran and knows Farsi. I said yes. I think he should have known that. I don't know why he would think I shouldn't believe him or Veronica about those kinds of things. I just looked up what water is in Farsi and a youtube video says in English, it is spelled AB. In Farsi, you write from right to left and آ is A and ب is B. Water in Farsi is آ ب . In Farsi baba means father, which is written in Farsi like ب آ ب آ because when the word doesn't start with an a, the a is written without the tilde. Horizontal letters are lovely, so baba is actually written like بـابـا because the b goes closer to the a. Vertical letters are not lovely so do not try to get closer to other letters. Horizontal letters get closer to the letter after it while vertical letters don't. After my mom told me not to contact Jason anymore and told Jason that if he comes onto our property again, she will call the cops, Jason went and knocked on my aunts' door in Pittsburgh, I don't know why, because I think he knew I was in Cabot that weekend at their farm. He also stood in the graveyard by our house. I think that's because he knows I don't want to never see him again like my family is so cruelly forcing upon me. But maybe it is best for him that we are no longer affiliating. Hopefully now that I am out of his life, he is allowing less distraction time from scanning his medical documents. Perhaps it was inconsiderate of me to reject his suggestions for us to cease to affiliate. And selfish.

I have discovered Khatchadour Tankian, who I think is Serj Tankian's dad, music recently. Even though it is in Armenian and I don't understand any of it, I

However, a little over two weeks later you had written and shared with me another letter suggesting that you were unwilling to stand up for and respect us, particularly referencing some additional false accusations as if perceived to be true.

It has been approximately 444 days since the sustained disruption. In your verbal communications to me, as well as represented in the writings presented above, you had asked questions, and expressed interest to discuss and better understand things by seeking to review evidences, but as of yet, you have not done so.

Having had some discussions with mutual friends/acquaintances of ours, I had observed some additional unfortunate communications which seemed to compliment the abuse to be sustained such that it was accusedly advocated that the situation was and is my fault, and concerningly I questioned it relative to some of those persons suggesting things such as that I deserve to be in jail amongst other questionable statements.

Sincerely,
Jason Khanlar